Finally! I got my chance at living the post-food dream. I like where this is heading. Let’s discuss.
The Soylent Food Bar is pretty much everything I was hoping for. It basically solves all the problems I had with Soylent, both minor and serious. I haven’t done an all-bar week, but I’m already really satisfied with this iteration.
The good points. Convenience is at max level with the Food Bar. Aside from simply not eating, it doesn’t get any simpler than cramming a rectangle into your mouth. I like food bars in general, so one that’s nutritionally-complete is quite ideal. The packaging is nice and easy to open, which my carpal tunnel appreciates. No layer of Soylent moon dust on the counter. The bar texture is nice, moist and with a slight crisp. Most importantly, I’m not hungry. The bar is, holy crap, actually filling. Also, I get absolutely no indigestion whatsoever. It’s almost perfect. Almost.
The neutral points. The flavor of the bar is “okay,” and it’s nice not having that weird Soylent film in your mouth that you get with the fluid. I’m not going to whine too much about that. It has a sort of caramel taste, probably from the cooked sugars. I honestly couldn’t give a crap about whether or not it’s delicious. Oddly, it tastes nothing like any other version of Soylent I’ve tried. It is awfully sweet, though. Why is there corn syrup in this? I don’t want to eat that, especially not as a staple food. The non-neutral taste is a neutral point for me, but it does seem antithetical to the Soylent philosophy, so to speak.
The bad points. There’s only one, and that’s the price. When these finally came out, I was genuinely surprised. Unpleasantly so. The cost of the Soylent bar caused a lot of complaining on the forums, and I completely agree. They are way, way too expensive, at about $2 each. I might as well just pick up some random granola bar off the shelf for that price. Still, I have to admit that a Food Bar is a heck of a lot cheaper than salads topped with feta cheese, or even tofu stir fry (some of my more regular meals). It might still be worth making the switch. I’d pay good money not to get horrible indigestion and to get rid of that dizzy, low-energy feeling I get when on a Soylent diet.
Overall, I’m okay with this. Not thrilled, but I can live with it. Now I can stop thinking about food and focus on something more important, like socket programming.
EDIT (10/23/2016): Annnd they’re gone.