More Pumpkins = More Pumpkin Bread

Is fall over yet?


It boils, it bakes, it’s orange! All this can be yours for the low, low price of $5 per pumpkin.*

* For pumpkin bread, some additional charges may apply. See this recipe for details.

My brother can make pumpkin bread, too! (Gat for scale.)

Flour was on sale for $0.89. Of course I’m making bread (not that I’ll eat it myself, since carbs are scary). If you want pumpkin loaves or rolls for sandwiches, just use the same recipe for the dessert version and skip the dessert part (adding the brown sugar and all that jazz).

Carbs from bourbon don’t count, obvs.

The amounts in the recipe will make one large loaf or four nice-sized rolls perfect for a Daiya cheese sandwich. It has a hint of sweetness, so don’t use it in lieu of sourdough. Unless you want to. I don’t care.

Miscellanea: S00per Sn00ty Win3 Review

“…a grass-citrus-melony-fruit-herbal-green-monkey flavor.”

Being the gourmands that we are, my brother and I were discussing the topic of white wine whilst out on our evening constitutional. I had just recently learned that what I knew as “champagne” is actually a sparkling wine, and that actual 4realz Champagne (with the capital letter) is a specific type of sparkling wine produced only in France. Well, it doesn’t really matter to me. Wine tastes sort of like cat pee smells, and I don’t care if the cats are French, Italian, or Californian. Pee is pee.

The ProFit and I both decided that, as far as wine goes, white tastes better. We like the idea of red wine; it seems quite elegant, does it not? Unfortunately, it tastes like something that would give me a headache, which makes sense because it gives me a headache.

Fortunately for my wallet, while I’ve only been to one wine tasting, I’ve disliked every glass of the stuff I’ve tried. As a matter of fact, I don’t think any alcoholic beverage actually tastes “good,” probably because it tastes an awful lot like well, alcohol.

Of course, having brought up the subject of wine, The ProFit had to immediately go and buy some in the interest of science. He decided on a bottle of 2015 Monkey Bay, because he liked the name and it cost like ten bucks.


Dinner today is carbs.

While we were sipping (read: chugging) our wine, we read some of the reviews. Apparently we were to experience a grass-citrus-melony-fruit-herbal-green-monkey flavor. I don’t know what these people were drinking, but it wasn’t Monkey Bay. It was probably a cup of ~*~IMAGINATION~*~.

Here’s what it actually tasted like: pretty good, actually. I got totally plastered and watched a bunch of episodes of Sliders. It was like watching double the episodes because I was seeing double. What else could you want from a wine? Well, it would have been nice if it made Kari Wuhrer less annoying.

“Grassy…” Why do people want to drink something that tastes like grass clippings, anyway? Hm, I wonder if you could make wine out of grass clippings. Oh my god, I’m going to make a fortune on this idea. Brb, need to go chase after the leaf blower guys before they sweep away my inventory.