Light Meals: Fungus Sandwich

450 calories

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The blue cheese makes it extra fungusy.

About a month ago, I tried a mushroom.  I’d tasted mushrooms in the past and always disliked them, but it turns out it’s just the canned variety that sucks.  Fresh mushrooms are actually all right, despite the fact they remind me of rot and decay.  More importantly, they’re low in calories, yet add bulk.  Thus, I’ve started incorporating them into salads, stir fry, and so forth.

Today, The ProFit and I tried making a portobello mushroom sandwich.  It turned out pretty good, so I’ll jot down the recipe for future reference.  If I don’t do this, I tend to forget that some particular dish is an option and revert back to my neurotic “mono” diets where I just eat the same thing every day for months on end.

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Total Calories: ~450

Ingredients

One ciabatta roll (140 calories), one or two portobello mushroom caps (66 calories), 100 grams of onion (40 calories), half a bell pepper (10 calories), one ounce blue cheese (100 calories), half a tablespoon of canola oil (60 calories), a splash of teriyaki sauce (30 calories), and black pepper for seasoning.

Preparation

1. Slice the bread and spread the blue cheese on the slices. (Daiya provolone would probably work well, too.)

2. Fry the mushroom caps in a skillet with the oil and teriyaki sauce.  It might also help to cut the mushrooms into strips instead of leaving it whole since the rubbery texture makes it hard to bite into.

3. Slice the onion and green pepper into strips and fry those, too. Don’t add more oil, just Teriyaki sauce.

4. Allow most of the sauce to drain off the vegetables before putting them on the bread. Sprinkle on some black pepper flakes or other seasonings.

5. Spend half an hour scrubbing the oil splatter off the stove to burn off the calories from your sandwich.

Light Meals: Meatball Sub Sandwich

480 calories

Serves 1. Preparation time approximately five minutes.

Approximately 480 calories per sandwich.

Materials

  • 1 Steak Roll
    + Morabito Steak Roll: 170 calories each.
  • 1/3 Cup Pasta Sauce
    + Ragu Chunky Tomato, Garlic, and Onion: 60 calories for 1/3 cup.
  • Vegetarian Meatballs
    + Gardein Classic Meatless Meatballs: 250 calories for 5.

Preparation

Step 1. Cut a hoagie roll lengthwise, without cutting all the way through.

Step 2. Microwave the pasta sauce and meatballs.

Step 3. Place the meatball/sauce mixture in the roll.

Step 4. Serve as-is, or with hot sauce and vegan parmesan cheese.

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Light Meals: Philly Cheesesteak

520 calories

Authentic Pennsylvania-style Philly cheesesteak sandwich (but vegan).

Serves three. Preparation time approximately fifteen minutes.

Approximately 520 calories per sandwich.

Materials

  • Cutting Board, Knife, Skillet, Spatula Stove
  • 1 Steak Roll
    + Morabito Steak Roll: 170 calories each.
  • Vegetarian Steak Strips
    + Wegmans Meatless Beef Strips: 170 calories for 7 strips.
  • 2 Slices Vegetarian American Cheese
    + Go Veggie American Cheese: 40 calories per slice.
  • Onion
    + Onion: 8 calories for 20g.
  • Vegetable Oil
    + Canola Oil: 120 calories per tbsp.

Preparation

Step 1. Cut a hoagie roll lengthwise, without cutting all the way through.

Step 2. Slice the onion and fake meat thinly.

Step 3. In the skillet, add the oil to fry the fake meat and saute the onion.

Step 4. Place the cheese slices in the roll.

Step 5. Use the spatula to arrange the onions and meat into a pile.

Step 6. Quickly turn the roll upside-down on top of the pile. Allow the bread to warm and the cheese to melt.

Step 7. Flip the sandwich back over, using the spatula to keep the contents from falling out of the roll.

Step 8. Serve as-is, or with hot sauce, No Salt, and black pepper.

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Light Meals: Hoagies (Reading, PA Style)

460 calories

Authentic Pennsylvania-style hoagie sandwich (but vegan).

Serves three.  Preparation time approximately ten minutes.

Approximately 460 calories per sandwich.

Materials

  • Cutting Board, Knife
  • 3 Steak Rolls
    + Morabito Steak Roll: 170 calories each.
  • Vegetarian Ham
    + 1 Pack Yves Veggie Cuisine Veggie Ham: 72 calories for 1/3 packet.
  • Vegetarian Salami
    + 1 Pack Yves Veggie Cuisine Veggie Salami: 58 calories for 1/3 packet.
  • 6 Slices Vegan Provalone or Swiss Cheese
    + Daiya Cheese Slices: 140 calories for two slices.
  • Vegetables
    + Lettuce: 8 calories per cup.
    + Tomato: 12 calories for 4 slices.
    + Onion: 8 calories for 20g.
  • 3 Tbsp Vegetarian Mayonnaise
    + Reduced Fat Veganaise: 90 calories for 2 tbsp.
  • Italian Seasoning
  • Vinegar
    + Apple Cider Vinegar: 0 calories

Preparation

Step 1. Remove the hoagie rolls from their packaging and set aside. Remove the vegan meat substitutes from their packages and separate the slices. On a cutting board, arrange them in a line with the slices overlapping slightly.

Step 2. Cut the tomato and onion into thin slices. Chop the lettuce into shreds.

Step 3. Cut the vegan meat into halves, running the knife horizontally down the meat line.

Step 4. Spread a tablespoon or two of vegan mayonnaise on the bread.

Step 5. Place 2 cheese slices, 1/3 package each vegan meat, 2 tomato slices, some shredded lettuce, and cut onion in each of the rolls.

Step 6. Drizzle the sandwiches with 1 tsp vinegar and add a sprinkling of the Italian Seasoning.

Step 7. Eat hoagie while cleaning your Thompson/Center Contender single-shot pistol.

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Light Meals: Burgers

550 calories

Another classic gourmet recipe.  Serves one person.  Preparation time approximately fifteen minutes.

About 550 calories for two burgers.

Materials

  • Cutting Board, Skillet or Microwave, Spatula, Knife
  • 2 Hamburger Buns
    + Wegmans White Hamburger Buns: 130 calories per bun.
    When I worked in a certain restaurant, we offered “multi-grain” as a “healthier” alternative to normal bread to customers requesting whole wheat. The multi-grain had more calories. Whole wheat is for lying liars. Do you want to be a liar?
    + Arnold Sandwich Thins: 100 calories per bun.
  • 2 Veggie Burger Patties
    + Boca Veggie Burgers: 70 calories each. Buy the vegan ones if you don’t eat eggs.
    + Nature’s Promise Chipotle Black Bean Vegetable Burger: 130 calories per patty.
  • 2 Slices Vegetarian Cheese
    + Go Veggie American Cheese: 40 calories per slice.
    + Daiya Cheese Slices: 70 calories per slice.
  • Vegetables
    + Lettuce: 8 calories per cup.
    + Tomato: 12 calories for 4 slices.
    + Onion: 20 calories for 50 g.
  • Condiments
    + La Choy Teriyaki Sauce: 10 calories per tbsp.
    + Horseradish Mustard: 30 calories for 10 tsp.

Preparation

Step 1. Microwave the veggie patties. If you are feeling frisky, you can cook them in a skillet with some Teriyaki sauce and black pepper on both sides to de-blandify them. Try to get a light char going.

Step 2. Slice the vegetables thinly so that eating the sandwich doesn’t require unhinging your jaw.

Step 3. Assemble sandwich.

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Light Meals: FLT

350 calories

* FLT stands for Fakon (Vegan Bacon), Lettuce, and Tomato Sandwich

Serves one person. Preparation time approximately ten minutes.

One sandwich is about 350 calories.

Materials

  • Cutting board, Knife, Toaster, Microwave.
  • 2 Slices Rye Bread
    + Wegman’s Light Rye Bread: 60 calories per slice.
  • 5 Slices Vegan Bacon
    + Lightlife Smart Bacon: 20 calories per slice.
  • Vegetables
    + Lettuce: 16 calories per 170 grams.
    + Tomato: 12 calories per 15 grams.
    + (Optional) Onion: 4 calories per 10 grams.
  • (Optional) Condiments
    + Horseradish Mustard: 15 calories per 5 tsp.
    + Reduced Fat Veganaise: 45 calories per tbsp.
    + Go Veggie American or Cheddar Cheese: 40 calories per slice.
    + No Salt Salt Substitute: 0 calories.
    + Tabasco Sauce: 0 calories.

Preparation

Step 1. Toast the bread.

Step 2. Microwave fakon slices.

Step 3. Cut vegetables into slices.

Step 4. Assemble sandwich in the following order: bread, fakon, lettuce, tomato, bread. Add optional condiments, if any.

Step 5. Done.